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Why are you like this? (17/9/18 3:30AM)

I question life a lot and I'm not kidding. Somehow, i just do that a lot. I don't like the fact that I do that a lot. I know life is precious and i could never imagine what would it feel like to lose someone i love too. I may not seem like it, but i actually like my family a lot. I almost lost my grandpa and it really affected me a lot. But somehow, my brain just suck that much. These days, i feel like my passion is running out and i'm slowly dying inside. I don't hate life like that. I hang out with my friends a lot, I try to live my life well before i grow old. I'm trying to live the wild life while I'm still young and able. But somehow, life drains out .  you lose passion, you lose determination, you lose motivation, you lose will. you lose feelings that you want to feel. you lose the excitement in life. I want to be happy, I told my family the other day as I was bawling my eyes out, that I want to be happy. I want to be mentally healthy. ...
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They Define Me.

Have you ever felt unsatisfied with yourself? Have you ever felt like no matter what you do or how hard you work, it's never enough? I felt like that all the time. It never made me happy but it made me feel like I was better, and it seemed like it was enough for me. Last year was my biggest year ever. I need to take my SPM exam which may change how people look at me. So to earn my family's validation and affection, I've worked hard for it. But it was really hard, it was really stressful. I cut down on hanging out with my friends to study, even during lunch break. It was so hard but I think I pulled through. Ever since I've got my exam result, everyone treated me differently. I felt like I was respected and cared. I let it define who I am. Not just that, I've struggled with my weight and body since I was young. I started my first diet when I was 13. I tried different diets. I tried starving myself, low-carb/keto, intermittent fasting, apples-only d...
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23 Aug 18'// 11:45 PM

Why are people so afraid of people who are different? Why are they so afraid to be different? When I say that, yes I know, each individual are never afraid to be “different”, But, we are so reluctant and hesitant to accept someone who is different than us in some certain ways. Which is, not right and not fair. So why is that? Why can’t people just be who they are, express themselves, OPENLY ? Why is a monogamous heterosexual relationship normal while it’s never okay to like someone who is of the same sex or someone who is different? Why are we so self-righteous? So Selfish? Before even knowing what something might do to us, we decide to hurt it first. It’s not okay to be hurt but why is it okay to hurt others in a way? Actually, I don’t think I’m going anywhere from this. Nothing makes sense, and nothing relates to each other. My brain is just acting randomly right now. Wow, I hate myself.
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