Why are you like this? (17/9/18 3:30AM)
I question life a lot and I'm not kidding.
Somehow, i just do that a lot.
I don't like the fact that I do that a lot.
I know life is precious and i could never imagine what would it feel like to lose someone i love too.
I may not seem like it, but i actually like my family a lot.
I almost lost my grandpa and it really affected me a lot.
But somehow, my brain just suck that much.
These days, i feel like my passion is running out and i'm slowly dying inside.
I don't hate life like that.
I hang out with my friends a lot, I try to live my life well before i grow old.
I'm trying to live the wild life while I'm still young and able.
But somehow, life drains out.
you lose passion, you lose determination, you lose motivation, you lose will.
you lose feelings that you want to feel.
you lose the excitement in life.
I want to be happy,
I told my family the other day as I was bawling my eyes out, that I want to be happy.
I want to be mentally healthy.
I want to not give up on life.
I see people who laugh a lot, who's so motivated,
how do they do that?
They are so positive but I'm so negative.
I feeling I'm even pushing my friends away these days,
shutting the door of my heart, trying hard not to interact.
I just wanna stay at home, lock myself with my laptop, and immerse myself in my own world.
I don't wanna think of any responsibility,
I don't wanna face what i should be doing,
But I Have To.
I have to.
I hate that I have to.
But I have to and I had to.
I'd face it, I'll face it, I'm facing it.
But I'm so tired.
I feel like I'm so tired, of life.
I'm so tired of trying to reach the top.
I'm so tired of putting up an image.
I'm so tired of working.
I'm so tired of satisfying.
I'm so tired of everything.
But my family said,
"It's a struggle you have to face in your process of growing up."
But I don't wanna grow up.
I don't wanna try hard.
I don't wanna do anything.
I don't wanna live.
"Why are you so sensitive?"
Right, why am I so sensitive?
Why am I so sad,
why do I feel so sad?
Why do I have to torture myself like this?
V, why can't you just be a normal and happy person?
Why are trying to mess your life up?
Why are you like this?
Somehow, i just do that a lot.
I don't like the fact that I do that a lot.
I know life is precious and i could never imagine what would it feel like to lose someone i love too.
I may not seem like it, but i actually like my family a lot.
I almost lost my grandpa and it really affected me a lot.
But somehow, my brain just suck that much.
These days, i feel like my passion is running out and i'm slowly dying inside.
I don't hate life like that.
I hang out with my friends a lot, I try to live my life well before i grow old.
I'm trying to live the wild life while I'm still young and able.
But somehow, life drains out.
you lose passion, you lose determination, you lose motivation, you lose will.
you lose feelings that you want to feel.
you lose the excitement in life.
I want to be happy,
I told my family the other day as I was bawling my eyes out, that I want to be happy.
I want to be mentally healthy.
I want to not give up on life.
I see people who laugh a lot, who's so motivated,
how do they do that?
They are so positive but I'm so negative.
I feeling I'm even pushing my friends away these days,
shutting the door of my heart, trying hard not to interact.
I just wanna stay at home, lock myself with my laptop, and immerse myself in my own world.
I don't wanna think of any responsibility,
I don't wanna face what i should be doing,
But I Have To.
I have to.
I hate that I have to.
But I have to and I had to.
I'd face it, I'll face it, I'm facing it.
But I'm so tired.
I feel like I'm so tired, of life.
I'm so tired of trying to reach the top.
I'm so tired of putting up an image.
I'm so tired of working.
I'm so tired of satisfying.
I'm so tired of everything.
But my family said,
"It's a struggle you have to face in your process of growing up."
But I don't wanna grow up.
I don't wanna try hard.
I don't wanna do anything.
I don't wanna live.
"Why are you so sensitive?"
Right, why am I so sensitive?
Why am I so sad,
why do I feel so sad?
Why do I have to torture myself like this?
V, why can't you just be a normal and happy person?
Why are trying to mess your life up?
Why are you like this?
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